


A Good Start

by staringatstars



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Protectiveness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-19
Updated: 2019-01-19
Packaged: 2019-10-12 14:14:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17469125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/staringatstars/pseuds/staringatstars
Summary: Taking place shortly after "Can Lying Be Good?", Virgil has driven himself to the point of panic and paranoia in an attempt to predict Deceit's next move.





	A Good Start

Thomas started his video the way he usually did - a witty joke or pun, followed by a cheerful greeting to the audience before promptly launching into whatever problem he was facing this time. Normally, Virgil didn’t mind being summoned since, as Patton has said, it gave them all a chance to catch up. Roman had a tendency to devote the majority of his time to brainstorming new ideas for Thomas’ projects. Likewise, Logan kept to himself for the most part, though he could sometimes be spotted sneaking Crofters out of the kitchen pantry in the middle of the night like some kind of jam-obsessed cryptid. 

Only Patton could reliably be found in the communal areas. For reasons he’d never explicitly stated but Virgil was reasonably sure he could guess, Patton avoided spending too much time in his room by cooking, watching movies, or playing board games. 

Nostalgia for the past. Fear for the future. 

Between dealing with all of that and being Thomas’ morality on top of it, was it any wonder that Virgil had decided against telling him about his concerns? 

They were probably dumb, anyways. 

Logan didn’t seem worried about Deceit rearing his scaly head again, and Roman was releasing hot air every time he opened his mouth, as per usual, so it made sense that Virgil was simply blowing this whole thing out of proportion. It wasn’t like Deceit would try to replace Patton again, right? After all, they’d already caught onto him once. He wouldn’t dare try the same trick twice. 

Unless he’d learned from his mistakes. 

Unless he knew that Virgil would assume he was too smart to fool them with the same method, was even counting on it.

Then again, there was no guarantee that he wasn’t with them right now. Sure, they were diametrically opposed attitude-wise, but that didn’t mean Deceit was restricted to switching with Morality. At this very moment, Deceit could be masquerading as Logan or Roman or even… Thomas?

Was that possible? Could he really switch places with Thomas without any of them noticing?

 _And why not?_ A sibilant voice hissed in his ear. _When it took you so long to notice Deceit was pretending to be the person you claim to be your best friend?_

Virgil gritted his teeth, digging his nails into the black fabric of his jeans.

“Virgil?”

What was to stop Deceit from taking _his_ spot? Would the others even notice? 

“Everything okay, kiddo?”

It could happen at any time. The others didn’t know Deceit like he did, had no idea how dangerous the dark side was. He needed to be ready for it, which was exactly why he couldn’t let his guard down, not even for a-

“Virgil!” Startled, his head shot up to find whoever was calling him, and though he knew Thomas better than he knew himself, for a brief moment, it wasn’t him standing in the center of living room, brows furrowed with concern. Maybe it was a trick of the light, but Virgil could have sworn there was an unnatural hue to his left sclera, a jaundiced yellow surrounding a slitted pupil. 

Then it was gone, and all that was left was an honest expression of concern as Thomas asked him - probably not for the first time - if he was feeling okay. 

Suddenly, it was obvious how everyone was staring at him, their gazes pressing uncomfortably against his skin. True to form, Roman shot off some snarky remark to defuse the tension while at the same time Logan mentioned the Yerkes-Dodson chart again, as though everything Virgil was and everything he was feeling could be summed up with a witty one-liner and a line on a piece of cardboard. 

“Guys,” Thomas piped in, cutting them off, “maybe now’s not the time.” And Patton took a step closer to the staircase, his movements deliberately slow and measured. Unfortunately, out of all the sides, the one Virgil most wanted to keep his distance right now was…

His heart beat so hard against his chest some part of him wondered if the others couldn’t see an outline of it on his sweater. Ignoring Patton’s protest, he pulled the hood over his head, tightening the strings until all the sounds and sights became muffled. 

Was it… breathe in for four, hold for seven, breathe out for eight? Or was it breathe in for four, hold eight, out for seven? Did the order even matter? What if he got the timing wrong and it didn’t work? 

Oh, for the love of - “I’m fine,” snapped Virgil, unsure if he was responding to a question at this point or drawing even more attention to himself by interrupting. All he knew was that the constant buzz of conversation came to a dead halt, followed by an uncomfortable silence that made the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. There had been an obvious echo to his voice when he’d spoken, a clear indication that he wasn’t okay, which meant he wasn’t fine, which meant he’d _lied_. 

And lies gave Deceit control. 

His breathing hitched as his panic spiked. He blinked back tears, hating every second of it. But it was time to face facts. He wasn’t getting out of this spiral anytime soon and at this rate Thomas was going to start feeling the affects. 

Since Logan had already figured that out, he was doing everything he could to try to help Virgil through the calming exercises, but it was pointless if Virgil couldn’t focus. Roman, on the other hand, was strangely quiet. Virgil almost wished he could see what kind of expression he was making, just so he could be sure that it wasn’t one of disdain. 

Here he was causing trouble again, after all. Just like always. 

And Patton… from what Virgil could make out of his silhouette through the fabric, Patton kept his distance, his arms raising and falling uselessly at his sides. 

With a muted groan, Virgil buried his head in his hands. “It sounds to me like whatever your problem is, Thomas, there’s not much I can do about it, so I’m leaving the rest to you guys.” Ignoring the others’ shouts, he sank down with a half-hearted salute, escaping to his room where he knew they wouldn’t follow. “Peace.”

 

Virgil was lying sprawled out on his bed, staring blankly at the ceiling, when Deceit decided to pop in. He looked down contemptuously at the younger side, “Very subtle.” 

After barely glancing him, Virgil replied,“Show me someone who says they’re happy to see you and I’ll show you a liar.” He paused before adding almost as an afterthought, “Well, another one.”

Deceit’s lips curled into a sneer. “Feeling brave, Anxiety?”

Sitting up on the bed, Virgil chuckled. “You’re in my room, Deceit. Thomas had a miserable day-” 

“Thanks in no small part to you, I imagine.” 

“-and I’m not having such a great day myself, so if you think you can take me now, be my guest, Dee.” A joyless grin split his face as he leaned in, his voice low and menacing, “To be honest, I’m dying to let off some steam.”

Deceit swallowed nervously. “You and I both know this room affects me.”

“Want to test that theory?” Virgil responded eagerly. The shadows under his eyes darkened, stretching down his cheeks, and the room responded in kind, as light seemed to flee from walls that suddenly felt alive with a very potent, very real malevolence. The air seemed to become thinner and thinner with each passing second. “Right now? When Thomas is more anxious than ever and I’m feeling like _this_?” 

“Fine,” Deceit muttered grudgingly. If it came down to a battle of wills, he was out of his depth in Virgil’s space and they both knew it. An ugly scowl crumpling the scales that coated his features, he began to sink through the floor. “We definitely won’t continue this conversation another time, Anxiety.”

“It’s Virgil, you cold-blooded- And he’s gone.” After waiting a beat to make absolutely certain Deceit couldn’t hear him, a soft exhale of relief escaped him. 

A head popped out from under his bed, “Gurl, you sure showed him!” Remy beamed. 

Scrambling backwards, Virgil responded with a shrill, nigh hysterical shout, “How long have you been under my bed??” 

“Long enough to hear you threaten Scales,” Remy replied as he crawled out, climbing sedately to his feet. “He’s going to try to get you back for that. Double - no - Triple emphasis on _try_.” And though the sunglasses Remy always wore tended to make reading his emotions difficult, it was pretty clear to Virgil that he was angry, though why he would be Virgil couldn’t even begin to guess. 

It wasn’t as though Deceit had threatened Remy at all. 

He frowned, feeling like he was missing something important, but Remy was waiting for him to say something. “Believe me, I know,” he muttered, running fingers through his hair. 

After thinking for a moment, Remy nodded. “Right, then.” He placed his hands firmly on Virgil’s shoulders, smiling widely in a way that made the anxious side nervous. “Sleepover. My place.” Gesturing to the dark smudges peeking out from under his sunglasses, he added lightly, “No offense, gurl, but your eyeshadow isn’t really my shade.” 

With thoughts of Deceit temporarily chased out of his mind, Virgil perked up. “I pick the movie?” 

Nodding, Remy smiled. “We can watch _The Nightmare Before Christmas_ if you want.” He jabbed a thumb in the general direction of his room. “I’ve got popcorn popping in the microwave as we speak.” One of the other sides must have told him about Thomas’ disastrous video, Virgil realized.

And on the topic of Thomas, “Aren’t you afraid I’m going to give Thomas bad dreams?” 

Virgil suppressed a wince, thinking that reminding Remy of the risks might cause him to change his mind, but the other side just gave one of his shoulders a comforting squeeze. “Right now I’m more worried about you, so why don’t we shelf that for tomorrow and find a couple blankets to snuggle up in? I’m talkin’ full couch nest, Virgil. So what do you say? Are we doing this?”

Virgil studied him, one eyebrow raised, before letting out a long sigh. “Yeah, we’re doing this.” Despite the sunglasses, Remy looked honestly relieved by the answer. Sliding off the bed, Virgil continued, “Just let me get my Stitch blanket out of the closet.” 

“That’s the spirit!” Remy exclaimed as he trailed after him.

And while Virgil rummaged through rumpled piles of clothes and video game cases for the little blue monster blanket, Remy glanced around the space, taking in the shrinking shadows, the air that was slowly but steadily becoming easier to breath, and awarded himself with a mental pat on the back. 

It wasn’t a fix, sure. But it was a good start.


End file.
